Much in the life of my family has been cyclical. Or rather, we end up coming full circle. It happened again this week, when my husband accepted a position at an organization in which he previously worked. And with that acceptance, I believe we’ve ended a chapter.
I realized recently this season of life began two years ago, when my then workplace was in the process of determining what would happen next. We had lost a federal grant and there was no funding on the horizon. While we hoped for a miracle or a “funder” or a check in the mail, nothing happened except the bank account drained. I found another job, launching me into the full time work force for the first time in ump-teen years.
Soon after, my husband started a job that I thought would be great and redeeming and an answer to years of questions, but it ended up being anything but any of those.
Stress and health issues and wondering if I would lose my sanity filled 2011. Despite difficulties in the past, I realized that family issues are compounded when adolescent and teenage children are involved. Bits and pieces were shared, I hope appropriately with others, but I’ve never discussed completely with anyone except my husband everything that has happened over the previous two years. Oh, there have been lovely days and weeks. There have been joyful family events and much to be thankful for. And I have no doubts our family will be a complete family until the proverbial “death us do part.”
Please don’t take this as a
Help me, I’ve been going through something terrible and you haven’t been there to help me.
That’s not at all what this entry is about. I’ve learned that much darkness has to be combated alone. Not for prideful or selfish or fearful reasons, but so a person can grow. And sometimes I think we see the answers so much more clearly when we’re alone and unprompted by others to see something that maybe isn’t really there.
So two years, give or take later, I feel free to say this chapter is ending. And, with much thankfulness, I report it has a happy ending. Though I’m wise enough to know everything won’t always come up roses, I firmly believe I’m past some difficult days. And I even feel someday I might be able to help someone else through something similar, if they choose to reach out.
I look forward to the next chapter, which will most likely bring a bunch of change. And with any change, there’s some awkwardness and stress. But I look ahead with a joyful expectancy.