kind of ironic

Last night I finished reading The Happiness Project.   I really enjoyed the book and have joined the Happier at Home 21-Day Relationship Challenge.  So far I’m keeping up with my New Year’s resolutions pretty well.   The projects I’ve set out to do this month are progressing well.  I’ve incorporated fruit into my breakfast everyday in January except maybe two days, and I believe I drank some orange juice at least one of those mornings.

Yet I awoke this morning with a dull headache and the sense that I really didn’t want to leave my bed.  I’m sure this is normal, as it’s January and extremely cold outside.  I did find this a bit discouraging though, as again I just finished reading a book on happiness. Why didn’t I want to jump up and get moving with a zip in my step?

I drove to work, wishing I didn’t have as long of a drive as I do.  [my commute isn’t really all that big]

I almost started bawling as I drove, feeling emotionally down, but unable to pinpoint an example of anything seriously wrong.  [perhaps it’s hormonal]

I went through the often over played in my mind situations of comparing myself to others and wondering why I wasn’t more………   [yes, I know better]

I was actually envious of a tv couple who were able to visit Hawaii.  [mind you, these people are not real, only characters on a program I watch]

I became angry at the drive of a pickup truck pulling a trailer that sped through the Transylvania University crosswalk on North Broadway, leaving a male student waiting dangerously in the middle of the road [as a parent of kids about to head to college, I don’t appreciate this kind of driving]

After reading Rand Paul’s lash out against Hillary Clinton in the paper this morning, I was actually ready to lash out at him [I’m not necessarily a huge fan of Hillary, but am confident she’s much.much.much smarter and better informed and an all around better person than he is]

I’m not generally angry or sour yet maybe I often {pretend} to be happy more than I should.  I just find it ironic that I would feel so low on a day when I’ve just completed a self help book designed to motivate me toward success.  Go figure…….

I suppose it just goes to show that one has to work at being joyful.  There is planning involved.  It doesn’t just happen.  Like the old song, some days are diamonds, some days are stones.  [my dad loves John Denver tunes so they are naturally stuck in the recesses of my mind]  There are days that are just plain hard, sometimes ridiculous, and we don’t always know why all days aren’t diamonds.

I’m moving onto another book.  This one’s entitled simply, thanks!  The subject matter is, you guessed it…..gratitude.  Which is something I seemingly need to work on and from what I understand, happiness is a scientifically proven outcome of gratitude.  I’ll see about that….and let you know.

Meanwhile, it’s time for bed but first I’ll report:

This evening I located my driving gloves which I’d misplaced [a small victory for one feeling blue]

I also baked a coworker a birthday cake [I like doing things for others]

I enjoyed a glass of Green Fin white wine I purchased at Trader Joe’s [it IS Thursday, after all]

The family watched an episode of Modern Family [Phil Dunphy humors me] and a Parks & Rec [good for a few laughs]

So, the day is finishing out alright and I don’t feel I have no hope at ever accomplishing my own happiness project.  Good night world, here’s to Friday, weekends, and John Denver songs.  [Sunshine on My Shoulders, anybody?]

  Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine, almost always, makes me high

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