more than a phase?

I’ve read that if you’re unsure as to what to do with your adult life…..  If you’re wondering what career path to take…….  If you’re at a crossroads…….  Think back to what you enjoyed doing as a child.  What did you play?  What did you pretend?  What were you interested in?  Most likely, those things are still somewhere inside you and you probably still would enjoy doing them.  Whether or not those things can financially sustain you in adulthood, is of course, another matter.

The idea of taking a hobby or talent and making a life out of it is quite endearing to me.  But then again, sometimes I think working as a waste collector would also be satisfying, mainly because they most likely don’t have job stress once they get home.  And they receive health insurance.  Alas, there are pluses and minuses to all professions, I’m certain.

Yet every so often, it hits me.  The dream.  The desire.  The idea of creating and selling items.  Someone finding something I made useful and buying it.  For money.  An artistic life.  The life of a business woman who charts her own course.  I know my husband grows weary of my ups and downs.  He’s stuck with me through a lot of phases.  Cake decorating.  Jewelry making.  Wreath making. Photography here and there.  Not long ago I went through what he referred to as my “museum phase”.

I’m not sure if they’re simply phases though.  Or if they’re my brain saying, “you really should give this a try.”  It’s hard to decipher.  My daughter recently gave me the speech.

Mom, you’ve set yourself up a store on Etsy.  You like to make things.  Why don’t you just make this happen?

etsyActually, I don’t remember if those were her exact words, but I gave you the gist of it.  She’s more idealistic than me, as she’s 30 years younger.  Yet, I think she makes a good point.  The old, WTH/why not/what do you have to lose?

In reality, I don’t have that much to lose.  Time spent in creating.  A little money, but most of my ideas regarding items to sell revolve around recycled items I’m currently hoarding.

Yet I go back and forth so often.  Earlier this Spring, I even pledged to myself that the consideration era was over.  I needed to move on and come to the realization this is simply not going to happen.  This was part of a blog entry I wrote on May 8:

I’m coming to realize a few things about myself.  For one, I am not going to become the most successful seller on Etsy.  In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever post anything on my store.  While I’m crafty and enjoy it, I frankly don’t have the time or patience to make it work.  So I’m allowing myself, without shame {thank you Brene Brown} to say good-bye to the crafter.by.trade scene.

Yesterday I ran to Michael’s, a craft store, during my lunch hour.  I purchased a small bottle of enamel paint, hoping to make a project work.  I truly hope it does.  And paintsI hope I can help myself believe this is more than a phase and that maybe, just maybe, I can make a sale.  Or multiple.  Heaven knows extra money would be helpful.  And my daughter home for the summer makes for cheap labor.  [I hope she doesn’t read my blog]

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