{adult}erated friendships

google chromeI’m definitely not technologically gifted.  Yet I’m frequently faced with tech issues because I am a computer user.  And copy machine user.  And printer issue.  You know, typical office machinery.  There’s a small part of me that wouldn’t mind going back to the days of writing everything down.  But alas, that’s not reality.  This morning, when trying to figure out why GOOGLE CHROME is no longer opening on my work computer, I came across a message that gave me a few options.  One of them was:

Ask a friend to help.

This humored me.  It seems more appropriate to list something like, “Call a computer technician.”  Fortunately for me, I have fellow work mate I also consider a friend who I can ask for help.  Otherwise, well, I guess I’d be up the proverbial creek.

My husband and I have talked much lately regarding adult friendships.  It seems they are difficult relationships to navigate.  And when you’re married, there are the implications of having close friends outside of the marital relationship.  Last week I wrote a blog entry regarding loneliness.  My readers apparently related to it, though unfortunately some of them are from college days and live many miles away.  And the entry resonated with my husband.  Which leads me to believe we adults want and need friendship.

I titled this entry {adult}erated friendships because…..well because I’m talking about adults and friendship.  But also because the meaning of adulterated is

to render (something) poorer in quality by adding another substance, typically an inferior one.

This seems odd to me.  But maybe appropriate when discussing relationships with fellow adults.  Perhaps our friendships as grown ups are poorer in quality than those we had as children and teenagers.  Are they inferior?  And if so, why?

Is it the time constraints?  Are we even more insecure as adults than we were as kids?  Are we afraid to get close to people?  Then there’s the cross gender friendship issues.  Can I be friends with a male?  I often find males bring less emotional hoopla into relationships.  There’s also less judgement regarding what type of handbag one carries.  But then, society judges spending time with the opposite gender as taboo.  It makes people somewhat uncomfortable.  And so many of us live to make those around us comfortable.

I have found that for a season of my life I pretty much gave up on relationships outside of home and work.  A few people at work I could talk to on a deeper level.  My husband who I consider my best friend.  But no one to invite over.  No one to meet at a restaurant.  No one to bake cookies for or send a card to when ill.  Part of that comes from hurts and struggles in the recent past.  Part of that comes from being tired after a long week of work, school and other activities.  Now though, now I feel it’s time to make a few strides.  To start looking for avenues for friendships and relationships.  That’s not easy for me.  I’m quiet by nature and enjoy being alone.  But I also enjoy the occasional conversation and someone willing to eat vegetarian food with me simply because they can endure my company.

I sent a text to a friend going through a difficult situation this morning.  Part of me said, “She’ll contact me if she needs something.”  But that’s not really being a good friend, is it?  So I made the stride.  And I hope to continue striding.

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