exhaust

I looked up the definition of exhaust.  When used as a verb it means:

drain (someone) of their physical or mental resources; tire out.

Or here’s another:

use up (resources or reserves) completely.

Synonyms are:

overtire

fatigue

weary

tire

drain

consume

finish

deplete

spend

empty

drain

Honestly, I can relate to this verb.  I am physically, mentally and emotionally tired.  I feel drained.  Depleted of resources.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been so happy to face a holiday break from work.  Even though my work is not very stressful.  I’m simply glad for some time at home.  With my family.

It makes me smile, but as a noun, exhaust means:

waste gases or air expelled from an engine, turbine, or other machine in the course of its operation.

I smile because again, I can relate.  I feel as though I’ve been expelling waste gases and air.  No, not as in flatulence.  Actually, as in an emotional flatulence.  Junk spurring out.  Wasted energy.  Wasted thoughts.  Craziness that doesn’t need to be.  And I’m tired of it.  Exhausted in fact.

I’ve noted when one is exhausted, it can directly affect those closest to the person.  It’s horrible, but when I’m drained, I can, without realizing it, try to drain others as well.  My husband, my kids, people I confide in.

So I must get some rest.  Sleep.  Enjoyment.  Laughter.  And set some healthy mental boundaries for 2014.  Which sort of exhausts me to think about.  But this must be worked through and done.

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