no focus

I enjoy reading but am having a hard time getting through books this year.

I began reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt earlier this winter.  Because it’s 784 pages long, weighs approximately five pounds, and is a 14 day loan from my library, I only made it halfway through before having to turn it back in.  And that was with a small fine.  I returned it to the library after recording [somewhere but I can’t remember where] the place I was in the story and immediately put a hold request on it.  It’s apparently a very popular novel….it’s been on the best seller lists for a long time.  After weeks of waiting, I received the email notice.  The Goldfinch was waiting for me on the hold shelf.

Mind you, I am not quite finished with the other novel I’ve been reading, Runaway Saint by Lisa Samson.  Lisa Samson is a personal favorite author of mine.  She even lives in my town.  I will most likely finish the Samson novel in the next few days.

While I’ve enjoyed it thus far, just as I have every other of Lisa’s books, I have had the hardest time making myself read it.  I find myself so distracted.  So tempted to spend time on Pinterest.  Or look up random things on the internet.  Or simply zone out.  And it’s so crazy because I absolutely love to read.  Reading has, in the past, been a momentary escape.  It has helped me keep my mind off problems.  And I could really use the free medication reading a library book offers at this point in my life.

I keep renewing Max Lucado’s You’ll Get Through This.  It’s filled with helpful material.  It’s based on the life of the Old Testament Joseph.  Much of it is applicable to someone going through a difficult time, which I am.  Yet, I can’t seem to get myself to focus in and read on.  At this point, I’m not sure I’ll even finish it.

I’ve checked out two books on centering prayer, a subject I’m interested in.  I skim them.  Pick them up, look at a page in the approximate middle, then put them down.  Again, no focus.  No determination to start at the beginning and read all the way through.  Despite whether or not I like the material, agree with it, or find it even slightly beneficial.

reading therapyI can get through an hour exercise class.  I can run a couple miles around my neighborhood.  I can cook a meal then eat it.  Have a lengthy conversation regarding politics with my daughter.  I can concentrate on an hour long liturgical church service between 8:30 and 9:30am.  But for whatever reason, I can’t seem to hunker down and get through a book.  And that slightly distresses me.  Because reading is important to me.

I am confident with a bit of discipline, I’ll be back to being an avid reader soon.  Summer is coming, along with ample time to sit in the sun with a book.  I will regain my focus.  I will.  I will.


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