I can check it off the list. Actually, there is no list. But I did it. I ran the race. I completed. Finished. Managed to run a 10K. No walking. No crying. No pouting. I, as Nike likes to proclaim, yet utilizing a different verb tense, “just did it.”
So I feel good. Accomplished, at least for a time. My next goal? Well, physically speaking, it’s to learn to correctly swim laps. But that will come this fall, once the weather turns and it’s chilly outside.
Other goals? I’m not exactly sure. Except I want to be brave.
I’ve realized, as of late, being brave doesn’t necessarily mean acting like a firefighter about to enter a burning building. Bravery can occur in an ever so silent, personal act which no one else ever has to know about.
My daughter complemented me yesterday on how I handled a situation. Something unexpected happened. Instead of allowing it to throw me off kilter, I took steps necessary in accomplishing what needed to be done. It wasn’t a huge deal, but at the same time, it was one of those [first times] one faces as a newly single woman.
My routine has been altered. I awake each day in a different place than in previous times, even those it’s technically the same locale in the physical sense. I know bravery is required if I am to move forward. While I could stay here, on this level, it’s not where I belong. I see myself out there, far away from the present.
It’s little steps now. A race run. Slowly. A phone call. A new idea. A new world.
Debbie: so glad you accomplished you goal. I see hope in your post and know you still hurt so inside. I went back to previous posts to find where I first noticed something was amiss. I remember telling Jerry something was wrong but did not at first know what. Then I figured it out and then you wrote of it. My prayer is and it has been that you will grow in your faith, draw closer to your children and Bartlesville family. Always remember we love and care for you. We pray daily for you and your kids and family. I am so troubled we cannot be there with you to provide comfort.. May our prayers bring you some degree of help.
Thank you SO much! I appreciate your love and prayers. Know that I love you guys too! ♥