wednesday

20150218_161602-1It’s yet another snow day. Or at least snow morning. I look forward to this evening’s Ash Wednesday service at my church for many reasons, but I will admit one is simply to be out and about amongst people.

Another reason is I like the season today ushers in. Easter is coming. Spring will finally arrive. But meantime, meantime I can reflect. In years past, the following quote has been meaningful:

Lent is a call to weep for what we could have been and are not. Lent is the grace to grieve for what we should have done and did not. Lent is the opportunity to change what we ought to change but have not. Lent is not about penance. Lent is about becoming, doing and changing whatever it is that is blocking the fullness of life in us right now.
Lent is a summons to live anew.
~ Sister Joan Chittister, OSB 

While I like Sister Joan’s words and in previous years they’ve been a20150218_161339-1-1 help, right now I’ve decided to focus on something else. See, this is the thing… I’ve done a lot of weeping and grieving and changing this past year and frankly I’m just not up to much more. Especially as a focused discipline.

This time around I’m going to wait. So in a way, I am trying to live anew because I don’t like to wait. Yet that’s the word I keep getting. Wait on God. Wait on people. Wait for things. Wait for something to happen. I can get way too inspired by quotes on Pinterest that tell me to “get out there and make it happen”. Sometimes I’m not sure what “it” is; sometimes I am. And while there’s significance in making a way for oneself and being proactive, there’s also something to be said about letting things fall into place. Not rushing. Not believing I deserve or must have everything I’ve ever desired right now this instant. I’ve done some of the proverbial trying to force a square peg into a round hole recently. Not a good idea, friends.

20150218_161608-1-1I have become much more independent as of late. Being left alone does that to a person. Sink or swim means you do just that. Thankfully, with the help of others, I’m a better swimmer so to speak. And on the road to independence I had to learn to get things done. Quickly, timely, no matter what. Yet now, now that I’m more stable, I have to learn to wait.

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