blue

A woman arrested. I saw the officers walk her out of the house. Four police cars out front. They escorted her to the police van. Which was in addition to the cruisers. My mind went inside the house. Does she have children? Did they see the arrest? What was her crime? Drugs? I witnessed it while running.  My short path around the perimeter of the park as it was quickly getting dark.  I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d be home for Christmas. Out on bail? How does that even work?

IMG_1876
My favorite ornament, which was my great grandma’s. 

I’m not a bah humbug kind of person. Yet I’m not a lover of all things Christmas either. No, this is not one of those [please remember some of us get sad during the holiday season and need extra encouragement] reminders, though I contend some people do and that’s alright. I am not one who wants to be coddled though, and note I believe feeling sorry for myself is…..well just plain ugly and who wants to be ugly?

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world” –Helen Keller

I do though, very much believe the holiday season is one big reminder of occurrences I’d rather not consider. For me anyway. Some of the harshest words I have heard were stated during Christmastime. Not just during one particular season. And while I don’t need to write them here or even dwell on them because that is unhealthy, it’s hard to psyche oneself up for “the most wonderful time of the year” when it has, in years past, been the absolute worst.

So while I’m again, not a bah humbug….I will enjoy Christmas with my kids. I am a realist [most of the time!] though and I’m quite sure I will never, ever, no matter how many years go by, not think back to memories I’d really rather not. Which doesn’t mean I’m depressed. Or overtly sad. It simply means I have a brain capable of recollecting thoughts. Often when the recollection is inconvenient.

My favorite Christmas songs are in minor keys. If you don’t comprehend what that means, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to explain it. My son is an expert on music theory, so maybe I’ll have him write a guest post sometime and cover it. Anyway, you most likely do know what I mean. Here are some examples:

O Come, O Come Emmanuel

Christmas Overture [Carol of the Bells and My Favorite Things]

Christmastime Is Here

A couple years ago I made a Christmas playlist and titled it “Melancholy Christmas”. Not so creative, but, well, it sort of fit. The first song on the list is this one. I’d forgotten about it until a few days ago, when I revisited the playlist. So far, it’s my favorite this year. The song I listen to the most. [please click on the link, then click on the song, as I prefer this version {only piano and Karen singing} to the one on youtube]

All I Ever Get for Christmas is Blue

Hope you like it. If you don’t, please don’t tell me.

 

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