Are you married?
I get that one pretty frequently from young girls. Generally in the 5 to 10 year old age range. It strikes me as interesting because there are thousands of questions you could ask a person, but this seems to be the high priority question. At least between little girls and adult women. Recently, while driving two girls home [they are sisters], one asked me the aforementioned question. I don’t think I answered it that well, because one of the two went on to ask me if my ex-husband is now my boyfriend. Which, in my mind, is quite possibly the craziest and most ridiculous scenario available to me relationship wise. In other words….not happening now and ain’t ever. But it did remind me that what kids perceive as normal in all things relational is not equivalent to what I do. I’m not sure why these girls don’t simply ask, “Are you in love with someone?” That seems more romantic and fairytale-esque, albeit much more personal. But alas….
Maybe you should get a motorcycle.
That one was from my daughter, addressed at me. Out of the blue. Not sure where it came from.
I find myself at the age now [maybe I’ve always been this way…] where I give advice to younger women. Whether they want it or not. Most of them are polite.
It’s okay to have secrets. You don’t have to tell everyone everything.
I said that recently. I also told another young friend which beaches she should frequent in San Diego. She’s spending the summer there doing an internship. I also told her I hope she falls in love with a towheaded surfer which is not in her game plan but I think it would make her life more interesting, so why not?
Friday evening….my daughter brings her phone into the room I’m in and tells me she wants me to listen to something. Not sure what she has in mind, I agree. It’s Chance the Rapper, singing a gospel like song he had just released that day. I think she was expecting more of a reaction. Sorry Al…not sure I’ll ever truly be into rap music. But thanks for sharing. Really.
Later that evening…..
Did you go to things like this when you were in high school?
We had walked down the street to hear a band play. None of my daughter’s friends were available or wanted to go. Which strikes me as odd. Isn’t this the kind of thing innately ingrained in the DNA of a high school female? Again….but alas…. So, because it was a short walk down the street to this place that not only repairs bicycles, but sells food, milkshakes AND beer….and apparently now has live bands on occasion….I joined her.
I also paid the $5/each necessary to get in and received this odd purple star/circle drawn with a Sharpie on my right hand from some guy who works there. I felt a bit out of place as there was only one other middle aged mom there and she was wearing Chacos and was with her husband and what looked to be her 10 year old son. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of that. I’m just not a Chacos person [no offense if you are], as you know from above I don’t currently have a husband and my son is now well over 10 years old and was nowhere near the vicinity of this place.
Another band played first and was not so great….the screamer type band which is popular amongst young people who form bands. They did feature a female lead singer/guitarist and a female drummer so yay for them. I kind of felt for the bass player/only male because that can’t be an easy path he’s chosen….but anyway. A guy who works there [a bike repair person I assume] gave me some earplugs. Maybe I look old?
Finally the group we had come for began. This place is not too much bigger than our living room and the few kids in attendance pressed very close, like almost on top of the band. Allie and I stayed towards the back.
Johnny Conqueroo….that’s their name. Three boys…..lead singer who plays guitar | a drummer | a bass player. They most likely saw The Kills in Louisville last month and are fans of The Dead Weather and The Black Keys and I sort of wish my son had been there because I think he would have liked it but who knows? He might have said, “They’re keen.” They are pretty good, especially for high schoolers, and to answer my daughter’s question, yes. Yes I did go to things like this when I was in high school.
I think it’s kind of a privilege to be a part of these young women’s lives. To be asked. To be invited and included. To not just be the person who has the $10 or the coupons for a free taco, which is kind of what being a {mom} is. To be the person someone is willing to spend their Friday night with, even though there are lots of other things they could be doing. Especially since I would never say “Hey, model your life after mine, girls! I have done so much right!” Because I could probably offer them much more input on what I’ve done wrong than right. But I suppose that can come in handy. Just like the advice that one should always, if given opportunity, go to the beach, as well as go hear the band play….especially if they’re just down the street….[whew…long sentence].
Upon a Sunny Day 