Upon a Sunny Day

Go ahead and jump.

Sometimes you have to jump off the cliff.

Into the unknown. It’s dark. It’s frightening. And it makes no sense.

But it’s the only way.

We’ve all heard that, of course. The speeches. The encouragements. Those quotes we pin on our Pinterest boards. [If you still utilize Pinterest. I don’t all that much anymore….]

The song. “Jump”. Played over and over by the boys in bands in the 1980s. They loved that one…..

I think though, there are times, real and legitimate times, when those words ring true. It’s time for a change. And it needs to be rather drastic.

Sometimes you hear exactly what you need to hear. A voice, a thought, a song. And the actuality of what you are supposed to do is exposed.

Yet you know, oh….you know, that friends and acquaintances are going to try and talk you down. Off the cliff you’re about to jump off of. Because they care. Or they, in their humble [or not so humble] opinion, know what’s best. They will say encouraging things. Positive things. Telling you that you are alright and they’ll throw in a few exaggerations because that’s what motivates people. And they’ll advise you that you don’t need to change anything about yourself or your life. That all will come together. For your good. Because you are good and doing what’s right. So everything will work out. Just stay strong and keep on….keeping on.

And all of that is nice. It’s what, I suppose, we as friends are supposed to share with our friends. Good people want their fellow good people to be happy. Or at least to not change the status quo. Because that might bring change upon them. And most people are not running around, looking for change. [Except those people who use metal detectors in open fields…but that’s a different type of “change”.]

I believe, very truly, that I missed a significant piece of my life. That I was supposed to go a little further down a road. That I turned around, at some point, and ran a different direction. Which doesn’t mean I ruined my life or ended up in a horrible spot. But I think it means there is something I didn’t experience. What? I’m not certain. I’m not sure it was so much the actual achievement of something as the experience of trying to achieve something. In other words, the journey. I missed a journey.

So now I’m here. And though I am not young, I don’t think it’s too late. Just this morning I heard words. Of affirmation. That despite the fact I got off track way back when, there is a train leaving tomorrow.

I don’t plan on getting on the train tomorrow. In the literal sense. I don’t believe it’s necessary to write anything I plan or don’t in this type of venue though. So who knows? I do believe it’s important to allow oneself to be in the extremely solitary and vulnerable place one can only be with oneself. To consider no one else’s future but one’s own. I don’t think that’s selfish, because there’s a fluidity in caring for specific people. So what’s truly good for me is going to be good for my kids, as well. And anyone else in my close circle. And if I’m where I’m supposed to be, well hopefully I’ll be with the people I’m supposed to be with.