saw a couple dogs yesterday
close and personal
they each greeted me
imposed upon my space and I was glad
another dog the day before
tiny, a yapper
the dog beyond the apartment door on Elkwood
I pictured him large, based on sounds
and of course the barker across the street
I walked a usual path
photographed a house
walked again yesterday
usual yet different route than the previous day
and I observed
other houses on nearby streets
small, old
I drove by the house I tried to buy a few years back
oh, I had a reason to be in the neighborhood
so I allowed myself
someone lives there now and I am curious
did the owner solidify the foundation
how many times have I been told
“you need a strong foundation”
what is coming, after all this
what do I want
I have not been bored
I have had plenty and then some to do
returning home emotionally and physically worn
what’s it like to paint and read and bake all day
watch a movie at 2pm on a Tuesday and order a beer curbside
those are things I have yet to explore
perhaps later in the pandemic I shall
please do not misconstrue
I do not mean to be rude
or accusatory or in any way judgmental
well…perhaps a bit judgmental as we all have our faults
I am asking myself important questions
what do I want to be in all this
or more importantly, who
what do I want to be once it is over
where, and again, who
so far, the above
a house and a dog sound good
but that could change
in the end, the answer might simply be a chicken dinner and a glass of chardonnay
or perhaps so much more
maybe actual answers, substantial and final
today is not the day to decide
yesterday evening, a man said thank you
he was walking his small dog (again, a dog)
he said, “thanks for all you do”
I have no clue as to who he is
a middle aged white male who apparently is the neighbor to a family I’m close to
I was leaving their house after delivering some milk and bread
I am no saint or martyr or wonderful person
honestly, I was doing my job
and honestly again, my job is not really a job
but I appreciate him thanking me
despite not knowing my name or anything much about me except what he perceived
I will walk again today
already saw a dog out my window
consider more today as I have more time to myself
in some ways, a normal Saturday
although chuckling to myself, not normal in any way at all
life is changed and the forecast says change is gonna [continue] to come (song lyrics inserted)
yet my heart is still, wildly the same
I don’t see that as modifying, ever
hence the difficulty of monitoring ones life during a pandemic
Upon a Sunny Day 