hope is a brief glimpse

so tired of saying “but 2020” yet here I am again•••decided to purchase a white tree•••something I never ever considered previously as I have always been more of a green tree only type•••it’s the first day of advent and I wish it was the first day of lent•••don’t we all want out of this scenario•••but darkness it is•••for now•••and hope, for me, is a risk because good grief•••what is next•••I wrote yesterday that hope is a brief glimpse and that, for me, is the riskiest of all•••to allow the heart and mind to unite in longing•••a dangerous combination because once explored it is a hard land to return home from•••hope is a word for today and I don’t know when a day will come when it will not be•••so I wait which is what advent evokes•••and argue with myself as to whether I should hope

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