seasons

Today is a sunny, early spring day in Central Kentucky.  It’s a relief, because lately we’ve had some days that were more like winter, begging the question, “What season are we really in?”

Sometimes my life seems like that too.  Meaning I thought I was in one season, only to wake up one day and ask, “What season am I really in?”  My current season transition brings to mind some of the transitions that life brings.  Job changes.  Moves across town.  Children growing more independent.  And sometimes I look at the particular season I’m in and wonder, 

“How the he#% did I get here?”

Take for example a recent texting conversation with my 16 year old son:

Jamie:  How are we eating together?
Me:  Around 6 I guess. Why wouldn’t we we?
Jamie:  You have your meeting.  (meaning a standing bi-weekly appointment his dad and I have)
Me:  That’s next week.  Allie’s going to a friend’s at 6:30.
Jamie:  I don’t believe you.
Me:  Don’t believe what?
Jamie:  I could’ve sworn Chip said you had a meeting tonight.  (yes, Chip’s his dad)
Me:  He’s with Schweig and Glenn as usual, then I take Al to her friend’s.
Jamie:  Mk.  If you say so.
Me:  Believe me, man.  : )

Jamie gave up meat for lent.  Here’s a recent comment, via texting, regarding our family’s meals:

What happened to eating new things as a vegetarian?  Why do we endlessly repeat the cycle of pasta, mexican, potatoes and soup?  Hm.

This is my life now.  My son feels he needs to keep my calendar.  As well as plan our meals.

I guess I forget sometimes that everyone goes through their own seasons.  I often feel like I’m surrounded by people who are running through a sunny meadow in the summer time, and I’m stuck in gloomy winter. But here’s an excerpt from a friend’s Facebook status:

Even when I am restless with where my life is today; I know this is only a season & it will not stay the same. God is using me even when I feel ill-equipped. He often reminds me that He is equipping me in this season both for the ‘today’s & the ‘tomorrows’. I am grateful for the present opportunities & new desires He deposits into my life. I feel as if they are nuggets to be treasured & nurtured for the next season.
On Friday I found out that a local business is closing its doors.  It happens to be the creation of one of my favorite authors.  She has achieved what I would consider great success as a writer.  She’s been to Africa and done good work there.  She’s spoke to groups, she’s opened her home to others, she’s accomplished A LOT.  Yet, her latest work didn’t work.  And that speaks to me A LOT.  Even people who seemingly have had their {day in the sun} have other inspirations, other dreams, other plans.  And sometimes they fail.  Sometimes they have to close the door for the final time.
Often people from a past season don’t comprehend why you don’t want to return to the season you shared with them.  Maybe they’re still in that particular season.  Sometimes we just have to move on.  Especially if that season wasn’t the healthiest.  And I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s alright to move on for my sake, and not worry about their sake.  [Please note I’m not condoning hurting people on purpose.  But I am condoning being true to God’s leading.]

Often we are forced out of a season, not by our design.  Our plans/dreams/goals change, but not necessarily because we went looking for them to.  Circumstances (God’s, ours, other people’s) come into play.  I’ve come to realize that what I thought I’d be doing, what I for years planned to give my professional life to, is not the actual plan.  And that can be a little odd.  Somewhat unnerving, because I’m left wondering, like I stated above “How the . . . . . here?”

Please don’t read this and think, “My gosh!  She’s unhappy.”  I’m not; at least not regularly.  I’m just trying to figure out where I am and what I’m to accomplish, and I’m hoping to heaven it will soon be more than go to work, deliver my kids to various activities and clean my house.  I’d like a little more than that.  I thought they’d be a little more than that at this stage.  I honestly accomplished more when my children were preschoolers than I do now.

So I guess I’ll try to be content it’s spring.  Spring brings new life, like no other season.  And instead of probing, “How’d I get here?”, or “How do I get out of here?”, I’ll try to find something constructive to do here.  

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