I’m trying to think of what I’m grateful for, beyond the usual list.

my kids, family, friends

house, car, clothes

music, love, health

food, job, YMCA

the fact the Cincinnati Art Museum does not charge for admission

libraries…..and that my current fine is only 10 cents….which is quite rare for me

I suppose what I’m doing is trying to be more conceptual. At least I think I am.

Instead of focusing on tangibles, I’m thinking more along the lines of…..where I am in the course of my life, the ability to actually care about people, realizations I’ve come to lately….that sort of thing.

Mind you, I do not by any means want to negate the importance of being grateful for family members or shelter or the ability to walk into the grocery store and purchase food for dinner. Those things are important and worthy of note, not just during the month we celebrate Thanksgiving….but always, of course. It seems I’ve just added a disclaimer. Which is weird, but whatever.

I am thankful I don’t feel like I’m treading water but feel as though I’m actually swimming across the pool. Which has been a long time coming.

I am grateful I don’t have to know today, but a day will come when I will know.

I am thankful for finality. There really is a final countdown. And that’s a good thing, I think.

I am glad caring about people isn’t an obligation….it’s not a have to or duty. It’s the natural outflow of opening up your heart….which is frightening but if it wasn’t a risk, what would be the point I suppose.

I’m thankful I’ve come to realize there are a lot less obligations [yes, repeating that word] than I previously thought. I don’t have to be or do for others. What I do choose to be or do, should be because I have an affection for people or myself. Not because I’m bound to some sort of rule.

I think a lesson learned over the past year for me has been the realization that I can have contentment and or find joy in something, but know there is also more. That something is good, but there is something better.

Which sometimes means saying goodbye, like I did when I left my daughter in NYC for college, knowing she is where she should be. And sometimes it means taking the next step up a ladder no one is holding onto [which I literally did today in unsuccessfully trying to fix my back fence]. Or maybe it means waiting just a little longer and it will be close to glorious.

Yes, all that seems possibly vague but hopefully relatable and if not, well you probably stopped reading a while ago so it matters not.

Trying to be thoughtful with my thankfulness is all I’m doing.

2 thoughts on “thanks

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