no one ever asks to be confused

My entries are few and far between, as of late. Yet I hope that changes soon. I want to be more regular. I haven’t felt comfortable sharing my thoughts with the world recently. Or I should say with the 34 people [give or take 127] who read my blog, many of whom I see on a daily basis. Not because of the readers necessarily, but due to my own reasons.

I wrote the following on July 11, of this year. I am most likely odd, in that I have multiple places I record pieces of writing. The July 11th entry was typed into my laptop. I keep a sort of journal there, categorized by month. It tends to be, I’m not sure exactly how to put it…… more thoughtful/introspective/creative perhaps? I also have a handwritten journal on the table next to my bed. It ends up mostly revolving around whatever is happening on a particular day I decide to record something. And I have another journal my daughter gave me. She explicitly instructed to only write “positive” thoughts.

Anyway, the following, though written three months ago, seem apropos to today. Which leads me to believe I spend much of my time confused…..

but what if the confusions
they never become clear
if it’s allusive
always allusive
not concrete
change the methodology
alter the course
realize it was not right to begin with
or do nothing
because eventually all will become right
will everything ever become right
or just a few little things
overall not though
will she decide upon a future
or will it just happen
tomorrow comes but will it bring answers
or just more questions
more confusion
not knowing is the hardest
waiting game
nonsensical, unorchestrated, unorthodox
no one ever asks to be confused
we ask to be told
let down, but at least that
or given reason to hope
there’s not so much confusion in hoping
clarity rhymes with charity which equals love
so let’s be clear

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