some days are snow days

Snow days still astound me. Strangely as I should be used to them by now. But the world, or my world, shutting down due to weather is interesting. Because it means all plans are out the window. Not that I had that many plans for the day. But what I did have. Didn’t happen. Because of snow.

So as to not bore you with what I did accomplish today, I will not list out every detail. I will say I learned that “Pancho and Lefty” is considered by Rolling Stone magazine to be the Great Gatsby of country songs. Again, interesting. I enjoy what one might classify as “old” country music. And P&L fits that genre, I’d say.

I spent the entire day alone. Which is not the worst thing for an introvert. I considered getting out a bit. As in contacting some of the girls I work with and seeing if they’d enjoy a snow day outing. Which I’m certain they would have. But temperatures below 15 degrees are not my favorite so I stayed inside. Except to scrape the snow off my car. So I wouldn’t have to in the morning. Meaning I’m praying I’m able to leave the house tomorrow.

I plan on making some cookie dough this evening. Yet to be determined if that will happen as the eventually baked cookies would be for a school group on Thursday and who knows if there will ever be school again? Due to snow. I also hope to make myself something to eat for dinner. Other than that. I’ve painted my nails and read a tiny bit. Work emails. Did some housework type stuff. Made some cards I hope to sell on Etsy. Wrote. Texted my parents, my kids, and a few other people. Did some work as in my job, work. As in planning. So there. I suppose I did give you a run down on what I have accomplished and hopefully in doing so, have not bored you to tears.

Interestingly (yet again), my mother often says she’s never been bored. I rarely am bored, if ever. It seems like there’s usually something to do. Something to read. Write about. Fix. Oh, I forgot I dealt briefly with my health insurance situation today. Which has changed. And I do not do well when I have to deal with my health insurance situation because it brings to mind a bunch of stuff that I need to not dwell on and I won’t go into it but let’s just say for about 15 minutes today I was not happy. But I’m better now. I am not unwell. As in unhealthy. I am quite healthy. It’s just I disdain dealing with health insurance. And always have.

I took some time to contemplate today. Something I read on social media a day or so ago.

I had to learn to grow from “let it go” to “let it be”.

Now, I realize this is not the most profound statement ever. Nor is it necessarily as eye opening to others as it was to me. But here are a few facts about me:

  • I have tried many times to let certain things go. To release. To discard. To leave behind. To say goodbye to. And for better or worse, many of them won’t stay gone. In that, I continue, despite my best intentions, to allow them a place in my life. Which is not necessarily a negative thing. Just simply the facts.
  • Number 2 if we’re counting…I believe the Universe speaks to me through Beatles songs. And we all know “Let It Be” is just that.
  • Thirdly, I struggle with indecisiveness.

So here’s the thing. I read the above sentence and was taken aback. By the simple difference between 2 two letter verbs.

GO

BE

I suppose this is something to me when for others it’s not because I somehow, somewhere along the way, became conditioned into movement. One should be moving, as in doing something constantly. Not that I am currently pacing around my house. But in the fact that I should be growing, or figuring out something or moving on. Or serving someone else. All the time. A message that successful people, fulfilled people, content people. Are always making allowances and changing and shedding what doesn’t belong. They always have a plan and always know what to do.

Yet. To let something be. That to me is freeing. It’s in a sense taking the natural route. No control. Just relax. Don’t know what to do? Which way to go? Just stop and wait. Wait and see.

My concern is procrastination. I have a bent towards it. And just letting something be is an easy excuse to do nothing when action is needed. But I think in certain areas, maybe at this point, this is the best means of handling. Instead of trying to force what isn’t meant to be. Instead of going somewhere for the sole sake of going.

Strangely, people don’t applaud us for staying around. Sticking it out. Continuing on. They applaud us for graduating. Getting a promotion. Starting something new. In reality, for being brave. Or the perception of bravery. Yet. Isn’t it brave to let something come together without force? Without using tools. To simply live. I’d say so.

Natural. I’d also say we have a hard time letting things simply take their course. Control is such a commodity. Yet perhaps the boldest undertaking is to say whatever will be, will be. That’s Doris Day, which is not old country but still, old. I watched a bunch of Doris Day movies as a child with my non-bored mother. Que será, será.

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