Marriage is so many things.
Growth, family, friendship.
I’ve pondered my marriage and marriage in general quite a lot, as of late.
I’ve decided [completely on my own] the ultimate test of marriage is asking oneself this question:
Knowing everything I know today, would I go back and marry this person again?
Gosh, we find out a bunch once we’re in it, don’t we? The good/bad/ugly. Years reveal much. For some, an unexpected illness comes along. For some, the dreams of career and success never come to be. Times of beauty and comfort and familiarity. Raising children might not have gone as expected. Or maybe children never arrived. Weight gains. Personality changes. Moves far from a childhood home. The pressures from the outside. Him going bald and wanting a sports car. Her wanting someone to simply tell her she’s pretty. On and on. Life happens and we change. And every once in a while, the thought pops in……. would I marry this person again? Did I make the right choice? If I could go back in time…….
I recommend you not ask on Christmas or Valentine’s Day. Or on your anniversary. Ask yourself on a normal, average, everyday Tuesday. When you’re not on an emotional high or low. When life is just humming along.
When I ask myself, honestly and without hesitation,
Would you, once again take this man…….
Yes! I’d do it again.
For a myriad of reasons. But mainly, because I love him. Wholly. Sure, there have been days….
I suppose if the answer was “no”, I’d have to consider why. And how to get back to “yes”. Even though it might mean pain. Even though it evokes more work than imaginable. Making it a day when the answer would be “yes” is imperative to joy in a relationship. And hope.